Salaam,
I'm not sure what my purpose of writing is other than to just tell my story as of late and insha'Allah someone might see a place where they could offer advice. I was raised catholic by my mother but was never really into it, mostly because of the lavish decorations of the church and the trinity. I didn't really have exposure to other religions. From my late teens to late 20s I was a smug "atheist". I used to judge believers and faithful so harshly because I thought I was so logical and cool.
Then all of a sudden a few years ago Islam just thrust itself into my heart. I wish I could pinpoint exactly how or when but there's no specific time or event. Everything I have learned just adds more love for it, especially when I fasted for Ramadan the first time. I finally built up enough confidence to go to a masjid last fall, for jummah, and have been going there since. Haven't taken Shahadah yet though. I've developed this sense of how I want my life to be from now on, I think about Islam all the time.
Here's a problem though, I've been married for 7 years, and have 3 kids with my wife, but she is an agnostic and she is having a really hard time with all of this. She's loving and understanding, and she's tried to support me. But I've developed this need to have Islam in my house, and have a supporting Muslim wife. We've been having a really hard time lately. How can I keep my marriage but be happy at the same time? I've tried and tried to talk to her about it. She says she really likes some aspects, like the pillars, but she gets hung up on women's issues-related stuff. She can't make a decision on anything unless she feels like she's answered every question from every possible angle. The last thing we've talked about was how she should just treat it like she would if she had a pile of paperwork to do, just stop looking at the huge pile and sighing, and just start jumping in!
I feel like it would be a really good idea to have other converts as her friends, but it's so hard! I work a lot, and there are no other Muslims there. I see Muslims around when we go out on weekends or something, but it feels awkward to me to just walk up and be like "Hi, you don't know me, but be our friends, please!!!" People just don't do that. Both my wife and I are introverts though, which doesn't help, but I feel like I am really working my way out of it, insha'Allah.
So I guess I have two issues, three really, A) Any advice on how to make other Muslim friends as an introvert? I say assalamu alaikum and get a response, but that's about it. I guess I kind of figured people would be like "Oh, you're a convert! How can I help you understand Islam better?!" but most people just want to do their own thing I guess. and B) How can I be happy, knowing that to be happy I want to raise my children in a Muslim household with the right adult role models, and my wife of 7 years might not ever meet that requirement? It makes me so sad to say that :( C) Any advice on trying to get Islam through to her? I feel like even needing to ask that is a bad sign anyway.
Thank you for listening!
I'm not sure what my purpose of writing is other than to just tell my story as of late and insha'Allah someone might see a place where they could offer advice. I was raised catholic by my mother but was never really into it, mostly because of the lavish decorations of the church and the trinity. I didn't really have exposure to other religions. From my late teens to late 20s I was a smug "atheist". I used to judge believers and faithful so harshly because I thought I was so logical and cool.
Then all of a sudden a few years ago Islam just thrust itself into my heart. I wish I could pinpoint exactly how or when but there's no specific time or event. Everything I have learned just adds more love for it, especially when I fasted for Ramadan the first time. I finally built up enough confidence to go to a masjid last fall, for jummah, and have been going there since. Haven't taken Shahadah yet though. I've developed this sense of how I want my life to be from now on, I think about Islam all the time.
Here's a problem though, I've been married for 7 years, and have 3 kids with my wife, but she is an agnostic and she is having a really hard time with all of this. She's loving and understanding, and she's tried to support me. But I've developed this need to have Islam in my house, and have a supporting Muslim wife. We've been having a really hard time lately. How can I keep my marriage but be happy at the same time? I've tried and tried to talk to her about it. She says she really likes some aspects, like the pillars, but she gets hung up on women's issues-related stuff. She can't make a decision on anything unless she feels like she's answered every question from every possible angle. The last thing we've talked about was how she should just treat it like she would if she had a pile of paperwork to do, just stop looking at the huge pile and sighing, and just start jumping in!
I feel like it would be a really good idea to have other converts as her friends, but it's so hard! I work a lot, and there are no other Muslims there. I see Muslims around when we go out on weekends or something, but it feels awkward to me to just walk up and be like "Hi, you don't know me, but be our friends, please!!!" People just don't do that. Both my wife and I are introverts though, which doesn't help, but I feel like I am really working my way out of it, insha'Allah.
So I guess I have two issues, three really, A) Any advice on how to make other Muslim friends as an introvert? I say assalamu alaikum and get a response, but that's about it. I guess I kind of figured people would be like "Oh, you're a convert! How can I help you understand Islam better?!" but most people just want to do their own thing I guess. and B) How can I be happy, knowing that to be happy I want to raise my children in a Muslim household with the right adult role models, and my wife of 7 years might not ever meet that requirement? It makes me so sad to say that :( C) Any advice on trying to get Islam through to her? I feel like even needing to ask that is a bad sign anyway.
Thank you for listening!