Salaam,
I have been doing hifz for quite some time now and had memorized about 16. I never truly had the intention of memorizing and was forced by my parents and family members. I kept switching teachers almost every 2 juz because of either money, or some other problems. I was too scared to tell my parents that I wanted to quit hifz and I am also very scared of telling this now as well. I eventually forgot everything and tried to review but I had too much to worry about, such as school/college and family to take care of. I told my parents today and they didn't agree with me. I told them I had no intention and I don't want to continue something with no niya. I told them that I would continue reading quran but not memorizng because I can't and I have no intention too. At the time i started I was about 10, and everyone sent me to different madrassa's. I told them my true intention was to become a doctor who can provide for the ummah and not use it for selfish reasons. Am I wrong for quitting something I had no intention of from the beggining? I don't want to use it for pride or selfishness but to help the community and closeness to Allah (swt). I want to choose my own way of gaining good deeds.
If it is possible private message me if anyone would like to talk. Jazakallah Khair.
I have been doing hifz for quite some time now and had memorized about 16. I never truly had the intention of memorizing and was forced by my parents and family members. I kept switching teachers almost every 2 juz because of either money, or some other problems. I was too scared to tell my parents that I wanted to quit hifz and I am also very scared of telling this now as well. I eventually forgot everything and tried to review but I had too much to worry about, such as school/college and family to take care of. I told my parents today and they didn't agree with me. I told them I had no intention and I don't want to continue something with no niya. I told them that I would continue reading quran but not memorizng because I can't and I have no intention too. At the time i started I was about 10, and everyone sent me to different madrassa's. I told them my true intention was to become a doctor who can provide for the ummah and not use it for selfish reasons. Am I wrong for quitting something I had no intention of from the beggining? I don't want to use it for pride or selfishness but to help the community and closeness to Allah (swt). I want to choose my own way of gaining good deeds.
If it is possible private message me if anyone would like to talk. Jazakallah Khair.